What is wrong with me lately?!

Thread Topic: What is wrong with me lately?!

i_am_VAMP Joined: Feb 11, '10 Status: Novice	2010-03-07 19:58:34
	i keep staring at the scars on my wrists and remembering things i don't want 2 remember...i've been having vivid nightmares and i cry at random times...i lash out at ppl. i haven't told anyone cuz they'll put me back on happy pills, which makes it worse...
sapphiretwirl Joined: Dec 27, '09 Status: Novice	2010-03-07 20:01:09
	hi vamp
i_am_VAMP Joined: Feb 11, '10 Status: Novice	2010-03-07 20:02:17
	hey perla...how goes it?
sapphiretwirl Joined: Dec 27, '09 Status: Novice	2010-03-07 20:02:34
	slowly getting better
i_am_VAMP Joined: Feb 11, '10 Status: Novice	2010-03-07 20:04:13
	thatz good. i'm slowly getting worse...
sapphiretwirl Joined: Dec 27, '09 Status: Novice	2010-03-07 20:05:34
	awww really
i_am_VAMP Joined: Feb 11, '10 Status: Novice	2010-03-07 20:10:06
	yep. not that its anything new. my life has always been a rollercoaster...
sapphiretwirl Joined: Dec 27, '09 Status: Novice	2010-03-07 20:13:33
	well hope it goes away
i_am_VAMP Joined: Feb 11, '10 Status: Novice	2010-03-07 20:24:39
	so do i. i even lashed out on my bf! i never ever do that! but i did...then i burst into tears. just saying something even slightly mean 2 him makes me feel as bad as a murderer...but he forgave me right away...
I like music Joined: Oct 26, '09 Status: Novice	2010-03-08 06:59:06
	You're mentally disturbed.
i_am_VAMP Joined: Feb 11, '10 Status: Novice	2010-03-08 15:20:35
	why do u say that?
i_am_VAMP Joined: Feb 11, '10 Status: Novice	2010-03-08 18:14:42
	is it cuz i can't stand being mean 2 my bf, who loves me and accepts me and does so much 4 me? cuz i dun think that's mentally disturbed...
i_am_VAMP Joined: Feb 11, '10 Status: Novice	2010-03-08 18:18:23
	i'm srry if that sounded mean! Ugh! *slaps self in face*
I like music Joined: Oct 26, '09 Status: Novice	2010-03-09 06:59:31
	Becuase you cut yourself and torture yourself because you have bad memories. You are making things worse and disturbing yourself, that's why it's called "Mentally disturbed" Mental means on purpose.
i_am_VAMP Joined: Feb 11, '10 Status: Novice	2010-03-09 15:30:47
	i used 2 cut myself. when i quit that, i vowed never 2 do it again. And naturally i have bad memories. i haven't exactly had a happy, easy life. i just let those bad memories build up, which wasn't the smartest move. my thoughts and emotions just get carried away and i can't stop it from happening. the ppl i care about the most r usually kept at a distance, and i hate myself 4 not breaking that habit...i think most of this crap i do is out of instinct, like a defense mechanism or something...