- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 13, '18 3:54am
Thread Topic: writings
read them if you want, I don't care
but a trigger warning
I'm not holding back as much as I should
some of these things will be very disturbing
writing is a form of expression
Im out of this world
but not in the sense that Im a spectacular person
more like Im so delusional that I dont always know
exactly where I am
It came to me in a flash:
I was clawing out my chest
skin and blood in my fingernails
destroying the parts I detest
but for now Ill spare the details
for the first time, I had confessed
how I wanted to dig out my entrails
now its resulted in more tests
so yeah, Ive gone off the rails
I was dizzy with the imagery
I fell backwards and let it go
my mental state was slippery
my sanity fell from my grasp
everything from my long term memory
escaped from its cache
its the same little feeling
that makes her tear out her hair
crushes him under the ceiling
takes away their breathable air
has me on the floor kneeling
praying for my mind to not go there
yet the knife is there, reeling
reeling me in, I no longer care
if it sank into my skin, would I scream
all of that is pretty disturbing
f--- yeah, its f---ed up
I already know that its unnerving
its hard to hear, it hurts to feel
the hardest part is learning
how to love myself when Im like this
almost everyone has some form of anxiety
a fact that Im sure youve heard
this is just an extreme form
still, crazy is such an easy word
to apply to people who you dont understand
Im not beyond repair
neither are they
this story isnt as uncommon as you think
the apostrophes did not show up because I copied it from a note app on my laptop
Mused Jade ExperiencedI love this!
You have really good writing skills!
thank you.i appreciate the compliment.
Room of Sleep
A warm vowel draws me in
It is the lights on the water that lifts my heart
Waterfowl play underneath
Though the sky is dark
This bridge of lights keeps us close to the sun
How at peace I feel
Standing here on her wood planks
Her lights surrounding me in a vanilla glow
The scent of the river cements me here
Gentle splashes are rhythmic now
I feel fine
Though I am shaking from the cold
My mind is transported to another place
Here, I am alone
At peace, I hear her singing sleepily
Looking up, my eyes cannot comprehend
Angelic glowing against the dark clouds
The holy peace that envelopes us now
Her words, though sung softly
Listen, your death sentence
Who would take it from you?
In the kitchen, with the warm afternoon light coming in through crystal windows, you run past me. I catch you by your hair, the light reflecting off of it with a sheen beauty you do not deserve to possess, and I feel the energy coursing through my blood. Your scream rings through my ears as I swing you around and release you onto the floor, your tiny body bouncing off of the tiles. Without hesitation, I find myself hovering over top of you, my hands circling around your small throat. My veins nearly break the surface of my skin as I squeeze your neck as hard as I can. I apply all of my weight forward and your screams become bubbling, gurgling noises, your arms and legs thrashing beneath me. The tears in your eyes, the way your face turns red then purple. I realize even I dont have the strength to kill you, traces of regret climbing through me. Perhaps I then scour the counters for a weapon. My hands, shaking erratically, find the handle of a knife and I bring it down into your trembling chest. You are alive, but no longer do you resist. You only watch in frozen fright as (a terrible thought) the knife rips through your soft skin with such a pleasing sound. The blood is already gushing out of you and onto me by the time I find your heart. When I finally wake up, trembling, sobbing and breathless, I wonder how long you have been dead. I wonder if the blood will ever come out of those pristine white tiles. No, I know that it wont. You will continue to stain every surface until the pores of my skin are painted with guilt.
Standing in the green grass
The blue painted house
A bush with snowball flowers
I cup the delicate plant with both hands
And lean in to have its sweet perfumes lift my heart
A blue sky watches with a steady gaze
The breeze is gentle and smells of rose water
These Sunday mornings will be erased
When you die, there will be no hydrangeas
No poppies or tulips will grow
Only these purple irises
That grow wild along the fence on either side
Will stay as if to say,
I am here
breadboy69 JuniorThis boi is an amazing writer
Even his teacher said so
oh god be quiet
so this one actually has a bit of background
I've recently began rewriting it but basically it's a fanfiction about my dolls that I collect. Like I said, I'm rewriting it now to be less silly and overall just better, but um, this is the original.
it's pretty ridiculous, and I never finished it.
She was a peculiar case. Most teenagers had both legs, for one, and for two, they usually didnt have the connections she had. Although she had been in a wheelchair for a short time and then had to walk on a prosthetic for the remainder of her young life, she quickly resumed her daily activities as if nothing had happened. She had a certain mischievous charm about her that drew in those who spoke to her, like waves beckoning a small child into their fatal embrace. The amount of people she knew and the extent to which they would go to give her what she wanted was frightening. Gangs, professional organizations, teachers, students, administrators and more were among her web of supporters. Knowing her either meant protection or danger. Nobody would suspect a high school student to have such a major role in the underground criminal empire known simply as the Marketplace, and thats why she had to prove herself. She was vague, she was powerful, and she was beautiful.
Her name: Gail Meadows.
Gail looked more like a teenage idol than a criminal. Her hair was a shiny copper that fell past her shoulders in a gentle wave, one dyed red strand on the left of her side part. Her auburn eyes were narrow and usually made up with smoky brown eye shadow and winged liner. Her lips were glossy red, often spread into a shark-like grin. Gails eyebrows were sharp as the rest of her face, including her small and slightly upturned nose. Her skin was tanned and flawless glowing down her slender arms and her one remaining leg. The other ended at her knee and was replaced by a rather slim prosthetic that caused her to limp when she walked. She often wore red clothing and black heeled boots. Due to her overall theme of red, some even labelled her the Red Queen.
Although powerful and although beautiful, Gail was untouchable. She always had been. The only people found regularly in her company were a few other students that did things Gail couldnt do herself. There were only three. Each ran specific dangers in their jobs, but were not without defense. Gail, when she went to class, had pulled some strings to allow them to accompany her throughout the day, in each class. They were all high school students, but, like Gail, were anything but ordinary. Gails three accomplices made up what was locally called the Red Court.
Nikolette Wilde was always considered quiet and sweet as a kid. Her voice was as soft and light as her. She was short, thin, and had large brown eyes that could fool the toughest interrogator. Her long black hair ended at the bottom of her waist, blunt bangs making sure her deceivingly innocent eyes were always on display for her victims. A silver strand of dyed hair to the right of her face kept her identifiable in a crowd if you did manage to find her wedged between people as so often happens to people of her size. Her skin was a chocolate brown, smooth and gentle but just as deceiving as the rest of her. She was Gails messenger and often attended many meetings in her place. They chose their clients carefully, but Nikolette (dubbed simply Nikki) carried any number of blades on her person and learned quickly how to drop kick grown men that much more than doubled her own size. No one knew much about her family or heritage. She was adopted, but her parents never participated in her school events and Nikki herself never seemed to mention them. She was a year younger than Gail and the others in their posse, and had been taken under Gails wing when she was still in her last year of middle school. She was called the Bishop.
Joseph Steely did most of the physical tasks. He was short as well, but you wouldnt notice unless you were standing beside him. His square face and large muscles made sure that his size didnt trick anyone into believing he wasnt as intimidating as his father, an accomplished military veteran, had been. Joseph spoke very rarely and only to very specific people. All that was known of his home life was that his parents were gone and he lived under the guardianship of his disabled grandmother since eighth grade when he arrived at Northcross Middle School. He soon met Gail and, in freshman year, acted as her bodyguard as she built her network. Joseph also had a reputation for his persuasion skills when someone didnt give Gail what she wanted. His hair was brown and slicked back, a goatee framing his always frowning mouth. He looked much beyond his years, which often worked to his advantage. Joseph was the Knight.
The last member of the Red Court was an obscure boy named the Jester. His real name, however, was Juan Guerro. He was an average height Mexican-American boy who came from an average Mexican-American family. He didnt have any siblings, but was cousins with Ria and Flynn Rio, a secret the two students had paid Gail well to bury for concern of their reputations. Juan was known as the weird kid almost as soon as he transferred to Northcross High his sophomore year. He was constantly slouching and had small, beady brown eyes that darted from wall to wall. He spoke quickly and nervously. Most people avoided him, even before Gail befriended him and inducted him into her circle. Although seemingly a neurotic mess, Juan was secretly a computer genius.
Gails Red Court concerned teachers who were swiftly taught not to disturb her activities. Even more concerning she was to powerful members of the Marketplace, who considered her to be both a threat and a powerful asset. Many had tried to take her Court over themselves, but it was too late by that point. Gail was a formidable speaker, allowing her to make connections very quickly. Her Court also maintained a sense of neutrality. In their own words, they performed favors for their clients, mostly involving retrieving classified information or altering records. They sometimes managed to step into the middle of a conflict when one side paid them to perform tasks harming another and it would turn into a war of who could pay Gail the most money to do what. Other times, she and her Court members would find their lives put in danger by an offended party. This bothered Gail only internally. Externally, Gail had many contacts who would protect her from any dangers and who had on several accounts. However, how many dollars would it take those same contacts to switch sides? In the Marketplace, friendships were a fairytale. Businesses like Gails Red Court had only one true goal: to survive.
Rain hit the windowpanes like bullets and thunder shook the walls like grenades. The students that occupied the old classroom seemed to be lulled to sleep by their teachers monotonous voice. With lunch less than fifteen minutes away, it was guaranteed that the collapse of the Roman Empire wasnt what any of the high schoolers were thinking about, their heads drooping and their shoulders slouched. Many only daydreamt of where they might spend the lunch hour, or perhaps of the homework they had yet to complete. For Blair Grey, it was a certain red-headed teenage girl.
The Red Queen in question rarely met Blair face-to-face, but today was a special occasion. Nikki, who usually handled business with Blair, was out for an unspecified reason and Gail liked to meet her contacts sporadically to confirm their loyalty, anyhow. The actual paperwork required was nothing too ceremonious; just some students medical records that needed to be changed. Usually, Blair would give it to Nikki who would take it back to Gail.
uh actually I don't think I'll paste the rest
the word document is twelve pages long and when I put it here it gets cut off and the punctuation doesn't all show up
Oh here we go!!
in case anyone wants to read 4,449 words of absolute nonsense, here!!
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