1. What is your age? Under 18 Years Old 18 to 24 Years Old 25 to 30 Years Old 31 to 40 Years Old 41 to 50 Years Old 51 to 60 Years Old Over 60 Years Old 2. What is your gender? Male Female 3. How often do you bathe or shower? Whenever I feel I need to. A couple of times a day. I live in the water. Whenever I come in contact with someone or something. Not often, because I have to take special precautions to shower because my DNA may be washed down the drain and traced back to me by CIA, or even worse, I could be cloned! Never 4. What do you wear when you go out in public? Winter clothing in Summer. My whole wardrobe at once. Whatever is clean. I can never decide, so I don't wear anything. Depends on the occasion. A tin foil cap to prevent mind reading by government agencies and/or aliens. 5. A person on the street comes up and asks you the time. Your response is... Tell them the time. Find out who sent them and what their mission is. Tell them to f* off and get their own watch. Tell them the time, what you had for breakfast, give a history of your bowel motions and the rest of your life story. You know they really want to see your body, so you just oblige. Burst into tears and run away. You can't handle such a stressful situation. 6. While in conversation... I talk so much my mouth hurts. I don't talk, I have taken a vow of silence. I try to listen as much as I contribute to the conversation. I talk very quietly so that the other person has to lean over to hear me. I raise my voice to make sure everybody hears me. I just answer yes or no to whoever is talking to me. 7. Generally, when I am not busy, I... None of your business! Don't do anything, it's not worth it. Am taking over the world, so I'm always busy! Pursue hobbies and interests. Hide in my basement which is built with reinforced concrete, has heavy steel doors and a network of security cameras and laser sensors around it. Heal the world with my super telepathic abilites. 8. The computer that you are using is... Sucking the life out of me. An electronic device used to fill-out stupid quizzes. For receiving messages from alien life forms and monitoring intergalactic travel. This isn't a computer. It is a device for brain washing. A figment of my imagination. 9. When watching the television... I watch whatever's on. The news woman constantly talks about me and what's happening in my life. I get clues on how to win a million dollars in the lottery. It obvious that Elvis is still alive and is the Director of NASA and is in charge of interplanetary exploration. I talk to the nice old man who lives in the television. I don't watch television. 10. The worst thing you have ever done is... Stepped on an ant. I am the devil and have lost count of all the bad things I've done. Wore green with blue. I generally try to do the right thing. I feel guilty all the time, but am not sure why. Forgot to call my mother on her birthday. 11. What best describes your health? I am on average healthy. I have super-human powers and have never been sick. I was always healthy until I had an electro-bug implanted in my sinuses and now I always get the flu. I know I have a lot of medical problems and go for tests on a regular basis, but my doctor can never find anything wrong with me. My friends comment on how often I am sick. I am sick and have undergone medical treatment for this illness. 12. When you are driving, the car behind you is... Papparazzi trying to get photographs because I am famous. A fellow citizen who just happens to be heading in the same direction as me. Most likely a member of the CIA monitoring my whereabouts. My mother making sure I don't have an accident. Police pursuit cars. I don't know, but I don't like the way they are looking at me... 13. My whole life... Everyone has been out to get me and keep me down. Every person I meet becomes my friend. I have learnt to cope with 114 voices talking to me at once. I have been pretty normal. Is like this huge adventure. I don't exist. 14. I consider suicide... Every now and then. Never. Everyday. Right Now. Once or twice in my life. I cannot suicide because I am immortal. 15. What best describes your religious beliefs? Fairly consistent with others who share my religious affiliation. I have a special link to God and he gives me messages and/or special missions. I have no religious beliefs. I am a/the God. I am evil and have to be punished by God for all my sins (more than most people). We were created by aliens, the ones that built the pyramids. 16. I eat... At meal times. When I remember. I am too fat to eat! Whenever I feel sad or down, it helps me feel better. When I am hungry. I do not need to eat because I can regenerate myself with other people's aura's or lifeforce. 17. What best describes your sleeping patterns? Can easily sleep whenever I am tired. Difficulty getting off to sleep. Constant waking during the night. Wake up really early in the morning, despite wanting to sleep in. I am always sleeping and have difficulty getting motivated or getting up. I am unable to sleep, day or night. 18. What is your awareness level? I know what time it is, the day and date. I know where I am. I know who I am. I can check the clock to see what time it is. I know the month and roughly what date it is. I know what city/town I am in. I know who I am. I know roughly what month is because of the weather. I know what state I am in. I know who I am. I think I know what year it is. I know what country I am in. I know who I am. I am an alien from out of space who has been given a mission to take over this planet. It is the year 2036. I know my undercover name. I'm sitting at a computer. Who am I? 19. When reading a book... I forget what I've just read by the end of the sentence. I have already attained all the knowledge in the world and have no need to read books. I don't like reading. I read when I want to and am able to follow the story. I start reading, but get easily distracted by what's going on around me. When I read I only read the bits that I like and skip the other parts. 20. If asked what your plans for today are, your answer would be... What am I going to do for today? Today I need to go food shopping because I've run out of cornflakes. I really like cornflakes because the corn is from Kansas. Did you know that Dorothy is from Kansas. Dorothy is a nice name. If I had a daughter, I w I'm gonna hop to the shop to spend a bop on some pop. Did you know that I'm a cop? I'm not really sure. Ummmm.. mmmmmm. What did you say again? blank Filing my twelve fingers. I going am will milk for the shop car in my. Crazy backwards talking 21. You need some more milk... You drive interstate because it is much cheaper there. Buy some milk from the shop, but ensure the seals are intact and there is no contamination. I go and buy milk. Duh! I go to the back yard and milk the cow. I have no money to buy milk. I go to the local primary school and pinch kid's lunchboxes. I know a pregnant woman around the corner... 22. Regarding your illness... I am willing to accept treatment. I'm not sick, I'm just clever. I refuse to accept treatment from any government establishment. I am willing to stay in hospital. I am willing to stay in hospital, but refuse to take medication. What the?