Are You a Werwolf?

Hi, I'm some lunatic, and I'll be evaluating your likelihood of being a werwolf. This is the first in my series of night-creature-type specialized quizzes, and it's just in time for the Full Moon!

This quiz is not biased towards Romero werwolves, nor a certain ridiculous romance novel. Rather, most of the questions are based on observations derived from SCIENCE, MEREDITH, SCIENCE!!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Do you recall ever having taken the form of a lupine creature, then roaming the wilderness under the light of the full Moon?
Yes
No
That's what you're supposed to tell me
4. Do you often bear many scratches or bruises of unknown origin?
Yes
No
Never
5. Do you hate celery with a passion?
Yes
No
6. Do you have red hair?
Yes
No, but it runs in my family
No
7. Do you have a hatred or fear of people who would be likely to put nonedible things in your mouth, like dentists?
Yes
No
8. Does even the mildest perfume tend to make you nauseous?
Yes
No
9. Do you enjoy being stabbed by silverware?
YES!! :D
I'm gonna go ahead and say no
10. Have you ever awoken to find elaborate impressions on your limbs (such as might appear if you were leaning against some fancy gilding)?
Yes
More than once
Regularly
No
11. Do you have a subtle unibrow?
Yes
No, I have a conspicuous unibrow
No
12. Which person, when eaten, is least likely to give you worms?
A liberal radio personality
A horror movie-goer
A craq baby
A Harvard proffessor
A Yale proffessor
How the Hell should I know?
13. Have you ever brushed your teeth late at night and discovered that you had symptoms of gingivitis which had not manifested earlier or the next day?
Yes
More than once
No
14. Do aspirin, ibeprofen, penicilin, and synthetic antibiotics make you nauseous?
Yes, all of them
Some
None of them
15. Do you derive unusually little effect from opiates? (Morphine, codine, and other painkillers/anthesthetics)
Yes
No
Not sure
16. Are you able to simply, quickly, and nonhumorously identify your best personality trait?
Yes
No
17. Are your bottom canines the tallest teeth of your jaw, by far?
Yes
No
18. Are your top canines longer than and almost or as wide as your top central incisors?
Yes
Yes, and I have buck teeth
No
19. Do you know how to pronounce "Tyr?"
Yes
Yes, but I mispronounce it so I can say that swords are made of "Tyr Iron." Heee heeeee heeeee
No
20. Do you do a great impression of a wolf's howl?
Yes
Yes, I amuse myself by using it to scare all of the dogs in the neighborhood
No
I've not tried
21. Do you tend to recall more dreams than usual during the full Moon period?
Yes
No
I don't know
Please don't go into the dream bulls---...
22. Do you have a favorite type of birdshot? Is it #4?
Yes, no
Yes and yes
No, no
23. When fighting, are you likely to grab your opponent by the neck or toss him across the room?
Yes to both
Yes to one
No
24. Are your eyes a dull blue?
Yes
No, but they're blue
No
25. Do you root for the bad guy in horror movies?
Yes
No, I root for the good guys
No, I don't root for anyone
Only if the good guys are morons and annoy me with excessive shrieking
26. Do you tend to forget things like schoolwork, meetings, trash day, or appointments during the full Moon?
Yes
No
I don't know
27. Do you burn off beer fast enough so that you'd have to chug it to get drunk?
Yes
No
I don't know
28. Do you harbor a particular dislike for liars and manipulators, as opposed to people who do the wrong thing in a more blunt fashion?
Yes
No
The opposite
29. Which werwolf kicks more ass?
Johnny Knoxville
Peeter Stubbe
The guy from Twilight
What? Johnny Knoxville isn't a werwolf!
30. Is there a particular phrase or mannerism that you're compelled to speak or do whenever you see the Moon?
Yes
No
31. Which is better eating?
Skin
Kidney
Lungs
Brain
Stomach
Bone Marrow
32. Which of these would you say best describes your ideal romantic relationship? Imagine that your partner is realistic - not your dream (wo)man.
We get married, have kids, and live together until Death
We hook up for one night and then move on
We remain lovers indefinitely and have much sex but never live together
We travel the Southwest as wily banditos, like those guys from that movie, the name of which I forget
Polyamorous
33. Do you have hair on your knuckles?
Yes
No
34. Can you name more than 10 different styles of old-world sausage?
Yes
No
35. Have you ever used the phrase 'the things that cows eat' in disgust over a foodstuff?
Yes
Several times
No
36. Are you particularly susceptible to the influence of adrenaline?
Yes
No
37. Which of these would most agree with your philosophy in group dynamics?
A hippie
A businessman
A hippie businessman
A Mary-Sue or perhaps a highschool guidance counsellor
A dog
A cat
38. Do you see just fine in the dark?
Yes
Yes, and I rarely eat carrots
No
39. If a tree falls in the woods, and no-one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Yes
No
I can hear everything. If I don't hear it, it never fell.
You stole this from that other quiz.
40. Of the people you personally know, is there anyone that you think is more likely to be a werwolf than you?
Yes
No
41. Are you paranoid?
Yes
I'm so paranoid that my neck has become twice as muscular as the rest of my body from looking over my shoulder
No
42. BONUS: Are you, by any chance, from Montana, New Mexico, or an abandoned village near Lillehammer?
Yes
No

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• Which Werwolf are You? by E Lunatic
• Are you a Werwolf or a Vampire by Thomas

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